Thursday, February 21, 2008

It Hurt's So Much

Please forgive me if this post begins to sound like a diary entry, or if it sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself. Those were not my intentions. I need to blog, but I can’t think of a topic because my mind has more pressing issues on it. I’ve never wanted to expose my feelings on the World Wide Web, but right now this is my only available outlet.

Relationships are hard, but they are hardest when they end. There is so much fighting, pain, anger, and sadness, and then it is just over. You’re left wondering what went wrong? There is so much inner turmoil between your head and your heart. Your heart says you need that person, and your head knows they’re the worst thing for you. It’s like a drug addiction. What happens when you love someone so much, but they don’t want to love you anymore? What happens when you want them to stay and they want to go? It’s heartbreaking. It’s the worst pain in the world other than death.

2 comments:

SilverLight said...

I am very sorry for the way you feel Audblogger. It must be really tough for you right now. I have been in a similar position before where you wish with your heart so much that the person who made you comfortable and so secure is still with you. Sometimes the reason we feel anger and pain is because it is hard for us to accept that all the memories we made with that special someone are now no longer makeable. The strongest thing you can do is take out time for yourself and really let your emotions out for a couple of days or maybe a few weeks, writing blogs are one good way =o). The truth though, and its probably hard for you to really accept it in your heart, is that this particular relationship was not going to last the shape it was in. That’s not to say that one day when things have changed and you’re a little bit different-more grown up and more mature, that a relationship with that person won’t present itself but for the time being there was just something incompatible between you too. That’s not your fault and that’s not his fault but it’s just a part of growing up. People change, personalities evolve, who you were last year is probably 10% different from who you are today and probably 50% different from who you will be in 10 years when you finally settle down. Learning from the pains of unsuccessful relationships will allow you to thrive when your great big “hubbie” comes into your life. I know this advice may not help in the short term and how you are feeling now but know that in the long term you are so much better off from learning and surviving, take comfort in that much =).
Hope you feel better,
Silverlight

SilverLight said...

Atta girl ;-)